Skip to main content

Feeling blue

Terrible feelings
pain
angst
grief stemmed from death

aches in the belly
tumbles up my esophagus
how guilty does gravity feel
allowing this pressure into my chest?

cold
then warm
not sure which is accurate
the two swarm around my eyes
swords in the eyes
toothpicks in the gums
jab-jab

if i cry, will it fix the stinging
or create a new wave of pressure
through my nose
ear cavities?
a hole is a hole to choke down aches.
nothing to creep in.
i want to create a baracade.
i seek a baracade
to put this ache to rest
this grief to silence in my heart once more

and my skin to to interpret the air with comfort.

a lullaby.
a lullaby to ride me, soothe me. o curandera show your hands
make me feel myself again.
whatever that is - - when i am at my best.

Comments

Post a Comment

Thanks for your comment!

Popular posts from this blog

I'm heading to the Moon!

     Since I was a little girl, I was in love with wind, the land, and the proximity of the moon. Her glowing face shed just enough grace to soothe my tears in its quiet light.  I felt the depth of her passion, her longing, her loneliness, her strength. I sought the eyes of her face; along with their color, and holding smile. She traced me along the footprint I patted down; little girl beating brown; a tiny hand of mud. 
Post a Comment
Read more

Tangled in more Grapevines

Ways You Can Support 💜 Dear Friends, As I navigate some meaningful transitions this season, I’m reaching out with gratitude and humility. If you feel called to support, here are a few ways your kindness could truly help me and my little family right now: Help us get to León (August 14–21) so the kids and I can spend our birthday week together with loved ones. Contribute to our August rent — a little breathing room would mean a lot. Share resources or curriculum for advanced elementary studies — I’m homeschooling! Help me enroll in an advanced Spanish class. Support with vehicle tag renewal costs. Haircuts for the kiddos. New clothing for the little ones — they grow so fast! Help organizing and decluttering at home. Let me know if your address can be a reliable business address for LAPS correspondence. Let me know if you have a safe space to store a few treasured keepsakes from the kids’ (and my) childhood. Help us host a community birthday c...
Post a Comment
Read more

One Month Away!

In one month, I get to marry the most loving person I've ever met in my lifetime! Juan Adrian Cardenas, thank you for loving me.   Te amo! I have been in bliss ever since I've met him...and I can't believe how well I could ever get along with another human being. This is a wonderful gift, and I hope all of humanity gets the opportunity to experience this. Dreams come true. You must NEVER give up on yourself. You must also believe that you are WORTH every bit of happiness. You must cherish YOURSELF first before you find true love... True Love Never Diez... :) Love for yourself is really the primary thing...do what you love, be who you want to be... and your energy will exude into the ether...sending out pheromones, this is the attraction. Be yourself... you ARE the attraction. It's so possible, just never give up...that is my advice. Not sure if anyone asked, but I had to write this down. This is the path I've taken, which has led me to Juan. Led ...
1 comment
Read more