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Feeling blue

Terrible feelings
pain
angst
grief stemmed from death

aches in the belly
tumbles up my esophagus
how guilty does gravity feel
allowing this pressure into my chest?

cold
then warm
not sure which is accurate
the two swarm around my eyes
swords in the eyes
toothpicks in the gums
jab-jab

if i cry, will it fix the stinging
or create a new wave of pressure
through my nose
ear cavities?
a hole is a hole to choke down aches.
nothing to creep in.
i want to create a baracade.
i seek a baracade
to put this ache to rest
this grief to silence in my heart once more

and my skin to to interpret the air with comfort.

a lullaby.
a lullaby to ride me, soothe me. o curandera show your hands
make me feel myself again.
whatever that is - - when i am at my best.

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