Friday, June 29, 2012

Last Day

I remember my first day --- Justin drove me in, positive of my success, chanting "think passenger, think passenger". I was excited. I thought I was signing up for a dream job. The place was nice enough: penthouse, overlooking all of Los Angeles, and steps away from the La Brea Tar Pits. The tar pits had stayed in my memories ever since 2nd grade. It was a field trip that stirred my imagination with dino-relics, magical rocks, and movie stars. I always knew I'd be back.

The Passenger interview was a such a score -- triumphing past all the checkpoints and interviews. I was feeling confident in my abilities to kick some butt and prove it, no doubts. I was also knee deep in intuition, foresight, and I was just so able. I remember that morning before the interview, staying positive of the what was to come, I told Justin "my cup is half full and today I am going to fill it!". Filling up the cup is not something I typically say. As a Poet, I hate referring to cliches or any known "ism", unless talking in small talk and I don't really give a shit... but today, "I was filling the cup".

In the lobby before the interview, I was grazing over magazines. Most of them were techie, or sexy agency related garble...but there was one that I decided to go with, opened it up. As I thumbed through, different words and phrases stuck out at me. "The lion", "cannes". Impressive... encouraging, I thought. Then lastly I flip by a page stating "Fill the cup", turn the page, "Wilson". Fill the cup, Wilson! An immediate clue that the universe does speak back. I was so full of good energy, I was ready to nail the job, and I did.

I told Justin. He was really impressed...but I told him, these were things that he had taught me to do... listening, seeing... somehow, I was more functional with him there. My eyes could see past the smoggie layers of nonsense that makes up our reality. I felt blessed by this new gift.

A few good coincidences was not enough... I got my answers, I got my job. Thinking of it now, the street was even a sign to success "Wilshire" - hire WIlson :)
They did.

Now, today.
This is the first time I've gone in on a Friday in such a long time. While I will admit that I am spoiled in my job, the dream has dovetailed into an unpleasing chore. It would be less of a chore if I was nourished with work, communication, respect. I've learned that I value respect and utility much more than pay, especially pay... Even if they were to bump me another grand for my troubles, I just can't stay. As my friend states, it's like "your soul" is on the line.
It's time to pass on.

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