Skip to main content

Retrospect of 2 twenty twenty twenty

Today is a day to be grateful for.
I had so much fun. I think it was because of the way I was able to float from one event to the next to the next to the next. I really enjoy my freedom. The feeling like the cage is lifted...and I get to pamper myself in between.

Aside from getting to take a real girly girl shower...one that includes scrubbing with delicious smelling soap, and soak my feet, take care of any shaving... It was awesome. There are days that go by where I don't get to do all this basic me time...like showering. Crazy right? I guess it's because I have 2 kids under 3 years old. ayyyyyyy yi yi yi.
Well, that got to happen today... baby Sol tried peeing on the potty... and well it's pretty impressive since he is only 18 months old.

Today Luna counted to 12, without any prompting or guidance...she just started counting the beads on her necklace. She was confident and just counted. I am so proud of her. She says more and more words each day, speaks in longer sentences, and is so darn sweet. I love her smile, I love her giggles, i love her hugs and whispers in the ear. I just really enjoy interacting with my baby girl. She is almost 3 years old... and she is such a sacred little girl. Her energy is peaceful and so healing... I am so grateful and honored to be her mama bird. Sometimes I tell her to call me MommyMama... it's a bit much, but it's sprung out of the way she always calls her papa, Mama, first. uhhh...so I tell her, if you want to talk to me, call me MommyMama.
haha It's wonderful. She says it very fast...sounds good.

Sol is a cutie. He says "food"..and a new Sol word..."naminaaay" what is Naminay? or Nomine? or Namineeeey? Maybe it means feed me.

After my time at home, I was out to work on a special assignment at Tia Chucha's where I got to be a Poet in the classroom over at Pacoima Charter School. I was a guest Poet of a guest Poet... representing brown women from the community. It was super special. I shared 2 poems: Ocean Mantra, and Sonoran Feathers. I told them to be true to themselves and their dreams. I also told them it was okay to codeswitch and use all the languages you know when you write. They wrote poems inspired by Malala... if you could change the world...what would you do?
I went around and published all the kids that were done with the offical Tia Chucha Press stamp. I had a blast visiting those 5th graders. I hope I can come back again.

I had to go back to work... and then later, after returning home, I returned to Tia Chucha's for a reading/! Q&A for Voices from the Ancestors... a book of wisdom and healing from Xicanx and Latinx gente. My good friend, and mentor, Trini Rodriguez, has an essay in this libro. After the reading, I bought the book. I had to have it... it contains a remarkable amount of knowledge and healing that is rooted in our native ways. It's a source for me, that I think will provide nourishment for a lifetime. As the mother of Luna and Sol, I realize that my peace has a lot to do with their peace and their sweetness. I have to get better, so they can get better. I know I don't have all the answers.
I accept that I don't know them...and maybe will never know them, but I wish to seek help and want to listen to those who do know, or at least know a piece more than I do.

It was a special day... any time I see Trini, it's a blessing...and when Sol plays happily, and Luna smiles and laughs out loud... these are the days. This is the day of my life.  A day of love -- my essential Juan -- whom I am so so so grateful for... and just a safe space for my family. This is the life.
Right.
now.

Jessica M. Wilson Cardenas
Feb. 20, 2020

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

In Honor of Mother Earth

Happy Earth Month!  Right now, we see the blossoms opening, the vines ripening -- the sweet smell of Spring is here! Congratulations to everyone for making it out of the darkness, in this frigid air... the dew of the damp Earth has sprouted many blessings.  Rake up the gentle soil and bring her into your circle. Let the abundance flow into your circle; enjoy the fragrance of your harvest. I wanted to offer up this powerful song; Madre Tierra , by Maya Jupiter. Her message is steady and daring to be spoken into the ears of all who dwell on and know Mother Earth.  Speak righteously, and take care. ~ Jessica ~

When everyone was quarantined, I felt like

  "When everyone was quarantined, I felt like..."           I was caged,  my cord cut,            the outside was in,       and I  wasn’t ready for that. I felt like I was out of time                 – no way to re-plan my life,  no way to be by anyone’s side. I like mapping the scene,     feel heat amongst a crowd,  and now, to stay away from them,  I have to hide. Close myself off  my nature,  to enjoy parties  dancing, all the things               feel more alive…  When that door shut, a hurricane hit. JMWC 9/22/20 from class, Panorama High School, 2020

In Loving Memory of Anthony St. Jude Greene

My best friend died Sunday, July 24, 2011. Best and oldest friend...a brother and someone connected to my soul throughout life. It's not entirely real to me...we'd always talk, plan trips to see each other. This is going to be hard. He struggled a lot throughout his life; his weight problem, respiratory issues, sensitivity in general as he got older and heavier. It's a damn shame. He was a very strong man. Very strong! He'd fight off death for years. :) He'd joke about it a lot...saying that death is gonna have to fight harder because he's not giving up. His heart gave out, his body had enough trauma. He just had to let go, we have to acknowledge that he lived hard, fought well, died nobly. We'd joke about our heritage...we had much of the same mix of mutt in us, which was quite unique. He was also the son of many many vikings! Norsemen were tough, full of valor and grit, arghhhhhhh! Those medieval times men had nothing on Anthony Greene. :) Noth...